Be Grateful for Each Day
Yesterday afternoon, my littlest told me that at school that day, they had written a list of things which they were grateful for. She said that initially, she had not known what the word ‘grateful’ meant, but that now she did and indeed she could tell me a number of things which had made her list.
It struck a chord, this activity. Over the last few months, we have heard some of the saddest news from people that we know and love. A close friend lost her son — despite his severe disabilities, and the fact that he had been very poorly for a while, he was the most beautiful soul and never complained. The loss of him was such an awful sadness, both to his family, who adored him, and to all of those who knew him. Then followed the news that a friend of a friend, a lovely lady who I had chatted to through many a birthday party, had died after a long battle with cancer, leaving two daughters aged six and three. It is impossible to comprehend the tragedy of this situation, both for her husband and children, who face the daunting task of finding a new path without her, and for the lady herself, and the way she must have felt as she contemplated her girls navigating the rest of their lives without her to guide them. After that, we heard that the son of a friend of my mum’s had suffered a heart attack aged 39.
Learning of each of these events made me catch my breath and take a minute to think. We have launched ourselves back into the hubbub of everyday life, a far cry from the slower pace of months of lockdown. Mornings are a (usually organised) chaos, with a daunting number of tasks completed before we leave the house for school at 8.15. Most extra-curricular activities have restarted, which is the right thing as they allow the girls to experience new activities and learn to negotiate new situations, but they bring with them the after-school rush to get to drama, piano, horse riding, swimming, Brownies and Rainbows. (While thinking about being grateful, I must add to my list the fact that Sasha has no desire to participate in any variety of after-school activity, with the exception of watching Mr Tumble and having a long bath. We tried a sports club with him once — it did not go well. This reduces the amount of volunteer chauffeuring which I complete by a third). Even weekends, while still devoid of their usual schedule of parties and outings, have begun to gain a few entries in the diary. All of this means that we have far less time to contemplate — well, anything really, as we spend our days ticking off the never ending to do list.
So it seems that now it is important to make a little time to think about those things which we are thankful for. I have made an effort this week to spend a few extra minutes holding my children close and telling them how much I love them (while also reminding them that they cause me immense frustration at the same time). I have tried to see past my husband’s inability to load his dirty plates into the dishwasher, choosing without fail to leave them instead on the counter just above the machine which would clean them for him, and think about how well we still get on after many years together, and more difficult situations thrown into our lives than we care to dwell on. I have enjoyed walking with the dog, arguably often my favourite member of the household due to the fact that he just loves me all the time, is never rude to me, and asks no more than for me to throw his crinkly elephant a few times. I have looked around our house, perfectly designed to meet the needs of our whole family, and felt so thankful that it is more or less finished (with the exception of the utility room, which still contains more raw plaster than my usual decorating style would incorporate, but you can’t have everything). I have spent time with some of my lovely friends and felt to lucky that I have them in my life. I have been for walks with my wider family and loved the fact that we all genuinely enjoy spending time together. I have noted all of the little things that Sasha’s wonderful carer Louise does, far above what she is paid for, just to make my life a little bit easier.
And there are so many, many more things that I could list. But it occurs to me that usually, I wouldn’t even really think about them. I would rush through each day, getting done all the things which need my attention, without taking a moment to appreciate everything that I have. So this week, being grateful has made it on to my to do list, because you never know what’s round the corner.
